Build on what has already been said.  This is similar to ANDing. When we build on what has already been said by the other person we add richness to the conversation. It takes on a texture and tone which is missing when we simply change the subject because we have run out of things to say. 

There is only so much you can say about a reality TV show, sports event etc.

However when you add to the conversation, you change its focus from the event being discussed to the deeper meaning.

For example.
During the runup to the 2008 Olympics conversations in the workplace and coffee shops (remember I was listening in)  were about who was breaking records, the style and make of the swim suits, who is dating who and will it matter, how much money will the athletes make from sponsorships etc etc.  Very superficial.  Adding depth would have sounded like;

“Did you see Sullivan break that 100m record, he could beat Phelps this year”  
 To add depth 
“Yes, I really admire the way these kids commit so much time, energy and focus  on achieving when they know only 2 people in the whole country will make the team.  I wonder how things would be different here if we committed the same (or a fraction) of that focus to what we do, What do you think would be different……? ” 

 Before you ask  - no I did not overhear one conversation where some one “added depth” from a sporting event starting point.  What missed opportunities! 

Practice adding depth; find out what is behind the comment made. What is sparking emotion in the other person when they comment on a TV show, or external event?  What is happening for them? How you can develop a real conversation by adding depth? Go ahead - find out for yourself.

 

Liz Cassidy is a Brisbane based Transformational Executive Coach, Speaker, Author and Facilitator.

DO YOU WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?  You can, as long as you include this text copy below in its entirety:

Get your own FREE E-Book and monthly Personal and Professional Development tips. We give you ideas to help you get even better results at work, at home and at play. Get more. Take your life ...beyond the norm. Visit www.thirdsigma.com.au to claim your FREE E-Book and tips.

© Copyright Third Sigma International 2008. All Rights Reserved.